This is my writing that we have been doing this week. It's not completely finished but this is what ive done so far! Do you like my writing? Samantha.
Whoosh a rocket shot through the bright blue except it wasn’t the sky, it was a very noisy and busy street. Neow! Tim dragged his toy rocket through the air as he weaved between his mothers legs; he was an astronaut on the way to Mars, he was going to be famous, the first man on earth to reach Mars! Suddenly Tim stopped dead, his eyes glued to a coin operated rocket ship ‘Yes!’ he thought ‘Yes, this will take me to the moon! I’m ready, I’ve got my space helmet on and my NASA badge!’ “Come on Tim!” his mum pulled at his arm. “No mum please can I go on this?” Tim begged his mum, but before she could say, ‘No!’ he had scooped a 5 cent piece out his pocket and plopped it into the slot. Then he jumped into the rocket, his mum sulted to him with a formal salute.
Hi Samantha, I really like this writing and all the cool descriptive writing. It sounds like it would be really fun going to space! Would you like to go on a rocket? Blog you later!
ReplyDeleteSamantha you have used some great explicit language that keeps the reader interested in your writing eg Tim stopped dead, his eyes glued ....
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good writing